We, a top secret brilliant bunch of geniuses working on a secret formula to save the world from idiots, stupids and earthworms; are pleased to announce success in our objective.
So, what does the formula do?
It tells us what to buy or not to buy.
It tells us when to buy or not to buy.
We are out to make every Tom dick and Harry kings and queens of financial markets. In fact, it seems to answer most of the questions investors may have. All you have to do is pay me couple of million dollars ahead and try it out. It is not like your TV ad, we guarantee we will pay you back your entire amount (if you can catch us; that is hahaha bozos). Dont worry we have done a great deal of testing and with anecdotal back testing, we can easily say it works. It works! Voila! Holy Grail! Well.. not quite but close. Version 2 should be.......closer to the truth (How else can we make more money. Bill Gates did it, dont blame us, we are just following the bests!!)
We think this could be the greatest invention since the Black-Scholes formula hit the scumbags on Trade Street. So, we need to have a good name for it. Considering formula's wonder and factoring in the shock & awe technique to conquer the world, we have named it [hold your breath for the effect and scream now like a wrestling announcer] The Bullshit ratio.
After 250,000 genius man-hours put in by our team, we have arrived at the following conclusion (dont tell our sponsor, we tested this on him).
And finally the curtain is off the world's smartest ratio! The Bullshit Ratio is defined as Total amount of bullshit written, spoken, hype, publicity, reported by analysts, commentators, critics, columnists, specialists, strategists, pundits, observers, new-age philosophers and experts divided by the cost of the source through/from which it is/has originated, published, announced, circulated, proclaimed, distributed, advertised, broadcasted, and emanated. The closer it is to one, more reliable is it. Anything that is deviating far from One is .... Bullshit. Farther it is from One more bullshit it is. Simple.
Since, you are not on our team and you are not a genius, you may need an explanation. We understand. First take total amount of bullshit- crass, nonsense, foolish, deceptive, sensational, financial kitty-party talk AND divide it by the amount you pay to get that information, nonsense, puffery, Drew Cary show of financial experts. For example, if you are getting this information from the newspaper divide it by the cost of newspaper.
Now for the best interpretation of all. The crown jewel. When you are getting all the information from say, TV from the networks like CNBC, which dispense their advice and secret formula so freely, the cost of source may be assumed as zero. Now, the information divided by zero, is....... infinitely bullshit!!! Hahaha. That’s nirvana.
:) Falkor
In his recent book, Clear and to the Point, Kosslyn explained that the four rules of PowerPoint are: The Goldilocks Rule, The Rudolph Rule, The Rule of Four, and the Birds of a Feather Rule. Here's how they work. The Goldilocks Rule refers to presenting the "just right" amount of data. Never include more information than your audience needs in a visual image. As an example, Kosslyn showed two graphs of real estate prices over time. One included ten different numbers, one for each year. The other included two numbers: a peak price, and the current price. For the purposes of a presentation about today's prices relative to peak price, those numbers were the only ones necessary. The Rudolph Rule refers to simple ways you can make information stand out and guide your audience to important details -- the way Rudolph the reindeer's red nose stood out from the other reindeers' and led them. If you're presenting a piece of relevant data in a list, why not mak...
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